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flowers, clover, irish
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Just venting about work, keep moving.....

flowers, clover, irish
Just fucking leave it alone!! Why the hell are you making an active client inactive? This is why my shit is falling apart, you pull this crap that makes no sense. So now, when my customer calls to order, I have to go through and reactivate them, cause you don't want to get confused for one transaction that has already been taken care of? Just stop fucking touching shit, leave it alone!! "Oh they haven't ordered in a year." Well , if we went off that logic, we would have to remove a whole shit load of customers, wouldn't we? They are still an active customer, stop messing with everything! 



****EDIT**** LMAO, not more than a half hour later, and you pull the same crap that you just bitched me out for!!! You created a whole new account, when they were already in the system!

Smoke on the water.....

flowers, clover, irish

.....fire in the sky......

That's what comes into my head whenever I look at Ashley's LJ. Not sure why. 

Every day it seems like a wake up with a new ache or pain. Mostly it's been my hips, my tailbone, or my wrists (circulation to my arms seems to dissappear at night), but this morning it was my left knee. It's interesting the way your body changes almost daily during pregnancy. 

Heike called last night and said she had a bunch of maternity clothes that are more spring/summer oriented at the house. She also said she had a fetal heart monitor that I could have, which excited me to no end since almost all of my pregnancy symptoms have gone away and I haven't felt the baby move yet......I'm getting a little paranoid. Everyone says it's no big deal, and since I'm 17 weeks along, I should be fine, but still, I worry. Heike also explained to me how the baby on the ultrasound monitor looks so big because they blow it up. Which, thank god she told me, cause I was like "Holy crap, that kid is huge! No way I'm going to even make it to 36 weeks!!" LOL....I feel silly, but new moms don't generally know these things. 

Other than that, nothing else going on. I've joined a company that's kind of like Mary Kay, but I don;t have to keep inventory, I just have to refer people to their website and sign them up. However, since I only have this month left to finish my Vet program, I think my second "job" will have to wait until June. We still haven't gotten the second bedroom cleaned out, and I'm not sure when we will, but any spare time we have will probably have to go to that.

13 weeks

flowers, clover, irish

So, it's been about 13 weeks since I last posted a journal. Which is crazy, cause.....that's how far along I am. Yep, for those of you who may not of heard the internet buzz  (yeah, cause I'm that important) I am currently 13 weeks pregnant. So far so good. I'm still exhausted by about 3 in the afternoon, but I haven't been feeling as sick. Though by about 12:30 I'm starving and my stomach feels like it's eating itself, even though I had a snack at abot 11. Crazy. 

Other than the baby news, life has been kind of shitty. We didn't get this bid with the school district, so it went from "could possibly be an amazing year" to "we're fucked" here at work. Sales are down, and if they continue on that way, I might be out of a job. Which wouldn't be too troublesome except for the peanut with a heartbeat in my belly. So I've been extremely stressed put by work. Most nights I come home and cry for about an hour before giving into the mind numbingness that is television. I'm trying to get sales up, but I feel like I'm beating my head against a wall. It doesn't seem to be working. I'm trying to stay postive, but every day that goes by without orders and deliveries, I get a little more depressed. 

So yeah, that were I am right now. Totally lost and confused........and worried......and scared.

I'm sorry.

flowers, clover, irish

I know all I do here anymore is bitch, and I'm sorry for that, but this is the only website where certain people can't read things. I was informed by my office manager (Ebis's mom) not to complain about work on MySpace, because it might send the wrong signals or cast the company in a bad light. It's not that there is anything wrong with work. We're just dealing with the same shit that every company has to deal with. Communication issues. That's what it all boils down to...and some people not paying attention, but mostly just communication. 

Anyways, today's issue is communication. I was sent an e-mail to order a machine, I did, it was delivered this morning, and apparently I fucked up. I was supposed to send it to Denver, not here. It would have been really nice if someone had pointed that out to me before I ordered it. The e-mail I received said "order a 4150 with embedded fax, you'll have to add that on in QB." While it did have a customer address in Denver listed towards the bottom, I did not realize that that was where it needed to go. And now, of course, it's my fault that we will either have to have someone take it down there or figure out a way to ship it.  Fuck! Just fucking shoot me right now, cause obviously, I can't do anything right. Thank god I'm not in the medical field.

I can't fucking wait for this day to be done.

Living in the past

flowers, clover, irish
As I sit here, listening to The Beautiful Mistake, warming my legs by the heater, I think back on past years and things I miss. Like...laying in bed almost all day with the one I love, everyone comes to me, and I don't have to leave the warmth and comfort of that bed. I miss being one big pile of puppies with all of our friends. I miss making love in the dark with the only light coming from the stereo while DreamTheater or Trans-Siberian Orchestra play past our bodies. I miss kissing with such passion that I get shivers down my spine. I miss those small sweet moments after, in the dark, of just talking, and sleep will come whenever we're done. I miss spending all afternoon together, not having to worry about work or having to be some place.

Of course, those moments are with a past love, and not the one I have now.

Is that wrong? It's not that I miss him,  but that I miss the things I used to have, those small tender moments I used to revel in. I see glimpses of the past in present moments, and I sometimes mourn that loss. But I don't miss him.  I love John more than anything else, and I look at how our lives have all turned out and I think to myself "This is how it was meant to be." And yet....there's that small part of me that wants to take those actions of the past and tell John "this is what I want, this is how you should it," but...he's a completely different person, logical and almost the polar opposite of the past, and that's why we work so well. What would he lose, what would he have to give up to make me happy. I know he would do it too, but what would it do to us, if I tried to change him in such a way?

I think that's enough musing for one day. But I do really miss those moments.

did that sign just call me a twit?

flowers, clover, irish
1. I'm sure we all know what your name is... so, tell us what your boss' name is..
Well, there's Hal and STeve, and then Jodee is the office manager

2. Do you actually read your friend's surveys, or do you just copy paste them and fill them out yourself?
I read them as I go along.

3. Which is your favorite episode of "I Love Lucy"?
Vegimeta-vitamin one

Why the hell is there always a number missing? Someone get me quality control!

5. Do you consider yourself a deep thinker?
I have my moments....usually when no one else is around.

6. Name four people who you are closest friends with?
John, Ebis, Emma, Heike

7. Which one of those four people would you eat first, if you were starving?
Right now....Heike, she's a 2 for 1 deal *ba-dump-chi* (I know, that was terrible)

8. How many red shirts would you say you own, off the top of your head?
Mmm.....6 or more

9. No one cares whether or not you believe in love at first sight... but, do you believe in hate at first sight?
No, they have to say something for me to know whether or not to hate them.

10. If you said yes to the last question, do you think that the reason you are so hateful and judgmental is because you didn't receive enough love when you were a child?
I guess I don't exactly qualify for this one.

11. How old will you be in 2021?
Uh...*grabs calculator* 37...let's hope I make it there!

12. Would you rather be tone deaf or color blind?
I am tone deaf...have you ever heard me true to sing? But so is John, so it's ok.

13. When do you think is the proper time in a relationship to give the other person your business card?
Well.....you have to have a business card first, otherwise it just doesn't work.

14. When you were a kid, which comic strip was your favorite?
Hmm....Garfield

15. You can only wear a sock on one foot for the rest of your life... which foot is it?
can I wear just half a sock on each?

16. How many words can you make out of the letters of your name?
Lindsay-
Say, Sin, Lay, Day, Sid, LAN, Yis (though that's a made up word), Lid, In, Nil, Nay, Is, Indy

17. How do you feel about fake plants?
meh, sometimes they work, mostly they just seem cheap

18. What is your obsessive compulsion?
Kissing my hand and then the car ceiling when going under a yellow light, and picking my feet up whilst going over train tracks.

19. What do you think the odds are of the person who posted this before you becoming a rock star?
Well, maybe not her, but Buddy, I could definately see that working out.

20. Do you know what the heck the difference is between the statements "we're just dating" and "we're together"?
I agree with Emma --> "uhg. dating = Fuckin someone else is a possiblity."

21. When you think, do you see the words that you are thinking in your mind?
when I think......uhhh....I get internal monolouge and visual images

22. If a person is brought up speaking both Spanish and English in equal amounts and equally fluently, which language do they think in?
Whatever they chose.

23. Does it make you uncomfortable when people ask you your shoe size?
Not as much as it does when they ask me about my weight

24. Would you feel guilty about cheating on your taxes if you got away with it?
well, if I got away with it, that means I'd never get caught, so, yeah

25. You are walking on the beach when suddenly you find a genie lamp. You rub it, and out pops the genie. He proclaims that he is so thankful to you for letting him out after thousands of years that he gives you three wishes:
1. Take away all my debt
2. A nice house in a good neighborhood
3. Make me non-diabetic

26. If you had braces, would you put little diamonds on your brackets and call them your "grill"?
Once again, I agree with Emma --->"WTF? if i was born on the fucking south side of Cheyenne, WYOMING."

27. You have 24 hours to live... what are you going to wear?!?!?
I'd be naked...cause I wouldn't go anywhere

28. Which is worse... someone blowing cigarette smoke in your face, or kissing someone who has dip in their mouth?
NASTY!!! Eww....if someone has dip in their mouth!?! Fuck that.

29. Had you ever answered any of these questions before?
No, definately different

30. Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
yes, but it wouldn't work out with my job....but maybe a monroe...that could be cute

31. Who were you with last night?
John and the kitties

32. What woke you up this morning?
The alarm....that bitch

33. Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
No....I've fallen asleep, but never passed out.

Life in the not so fast lane

flowers, clover, irish
I don't know why, but lately I've felt as if all the decisions I make are crap. I took John to the new apartment Sunday so we could look around, measure things, and set up a game plan so we're not screaming at eachother as to where everything will go. However, after we left, I just felt as if I was nothing, that I had made another bad decision. It's like when you're in bumper to bumper traffic, you see the other lane is moving, so you change lanes, only to get stuck again, and the lane you were just in starts flying by. Only, all my friends are in that other lane. I guess it's a case of "the grass is always greener" but what if it's true, that others around you do have it better? How do you keep your head up and keep going forward? There a re a couple things that I can't talk about right now, that make me feel like my life is falling apart, even though I'm not directly involved.  

Diet Evil, maybe?

flowers, clover, irish

Am I evil because the only real reason I don't want my o.m. to just fuck off and die is because it would mess up my lunch schedule? Hmmm.....more than likely. But at this point, if she doesn't knock it off and make up her fucking mind, and CLARIFY what she wants me to do.....I swear to god I'll kick her in the fucking teeth. I'm really getting to that point, and I may not be able to stop myself from saying or doing something to put my job in jepordy if she continues on.

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